you may want to print and read - 2500 words
When Madison woke up,
a sharp pain came into her heart. The memory rushed back into her body,
and her thoughts.
The doctor had given her a sedative to help her sleep, but the sedative
didn't take the pain or the guilt away.
Her husband of nineteen years was gone.
"Damn you, Richard, why did you leave me?" she thought. Of course, she
knew exactly what had caused his death.
Madison made an effort to sit up; she knew the house was full of
relatives, and one of them would be coming into her bedroom soon to
check on her. She wanted to sit up and cherish the few moments of
silence, but the pain and the guilt was too great.
She reached for another sleeping pill.............
Weeks went by and relatives stopped coming around.
There were telephone calls and notes, but people had gone on with their
lives, and she was left to deal with her own life.
Madison had dreaded reviewing her financial status. She didn't know how
she was going to make it. She hadn't worked in 10 years and had no
skills other than selling a home every two or three months. Of course,
she could sell a house every other month and earn a sizeable commission,
but not enough to pay for the million dollar condo in which she and
Richard had lived.
Her worries intensified when one morning, Richard's attorney called to
say he had additional information concerning Richard's financial estate.
Much to Madison's surprise, Richard had left her financially secure.
Madison was grateful.
As weeks turned into months .........
Madison came to understand the most well-kept secret of the rich. When
you don't have to concern yourself with earning a living, everything
else becomes a major concern, concerns like keeping your money, how to
make more money, where to invest your money, who to trust, what to do
with yourself in the morning, what to wear to the fundraising event, and
finding someone who really cares about you and not your net worth.
But there was one more thing that money gave to Madison. It gave her
time, time that she resented, time to experience the guilt.
Three months after Richard's death, Madison started seeing Dr. Kyle, a
well-known psychiatrist, in New York City. She wanted the pain of
Richard's death to go away, and she needed prescription drugs to help
her cope.
Even after several months of therapy, Madison was still having a
cocktail by 4:00 PM every day and a sleeping pill by 8:00PM
One morning
while taking a shower and rubbing her body with hydro-refining lotion,
Madison sat on the seat in her lavish bathtub. The shower head continued
to send sharp, tingling spurts of water between her legs. She opened up
her legs so that the water could reach every part of her female area.
The sensation between her legs became intense as her clitoris became
energized from the force of the water. She directed the shower head
straight onto her clitoris. Her breathing became deep; the feeling made
her tingle all over.
Madison experienced multiple orgasms -- and realized that she wanted
more.
Once she dried off and rubbed her body with silk-soft perfumed lotion,
she put on her nightgown and sat down at her bedroom computer. She had
not touched the computer since Richard had passed away. She put the word
“cruises” in the search engine.
Two
weeks later, Madison was on a cruise to Europe. The ship departed at
4:00 PM from the harbor in New York City on a beautiful afternoon.
Madison worried that she may have forgotten something, but then
remembered that she had checked off everything on her checklist. In her
haste to go on holiday, she had not felt her normal pattern of guilt.
The cruise was a 16-day
Mediterranean Transatlantic
cruise from New York to Venice, stopping in Portugal, Spain, France, and
Italy. It was Madison's intentions to lose her guilt somewhere on the
high seas. How? She was not sure.
The ship would be at sea for seven days before arriving in Lisbon.
Madison had signed up for a half-day private tour with a limo to see the
sights of Lisbon. Before the
cruise would reach Venice, they would stop in Civitavecchia. Madison had
signed up for the full-day tour of Rome. She knew the bus ride was an
hour and a half to Rome from Civitavecchia, and she had decided to take
the tour with the other cruise passengers.
The first night aboard ship, Madison dressed for dinner. She was a
little apprehensive because she would be dining alone and had selected
the formal dining choice rather than "anytime dining".
She would at least be seated at a table with other people and perhaps
wouldn't feel uncomfortable.
Before leaving her cabin for dinner, Madison looked in the mirror. She
decided that she looked great. Her long and thick brown hair, pulled
back off her face, enabled her little black dress with a white sash tie
around her tiny waist to stand out. Her black swing-back shoes and
matching clutch bag with a small white sash actually created a stunning
image.
Madison felt confident as she found her way to the formal dining room
for dinner. The cruise ship's dining room was spectacular. Madison was
seated at a table with four other couples. She introduced herself, as
did the couples. She could immediately feel that one of the wives had a
problem with her because she didn't have an escort. Madison revealed
that her husband had recently passed away and the general attitude
turned into warmth and compassion.
Within moments after being seated, a well-dressed gentleman was shown to
the table. He introduced himself as Thurston Breaux, a recently divorced
attorney from Los Angeles. Immediately Madison knew Thurston was a man
she wanted to get to know better. She wanted to know everything about
him. He was tall, extremely good-looking, and soft-spoken. His manner
was confident and strong.
Almost from the moment
Thurston had been seated next to Madison, they were inseparable. The
other couples at the table seemed pleased that Thurston and Madison
appeared to hit it off, and little comments of encouragements were
shared throughout the five-course meal.
After three days aboard the floating resort, Madison and Thurston were
acting like an old, married couple during the day and like sex-starved
teenagers during the evening. Madison was determined not to move too
fast and had insisted that Thurston return to his cabin each evening.
It was the fourth night at sea. Madison understood that she needed to
be, and wanted to be, intimate with Thurston. The sexual tension between
her and Thurston was electrifying, and both wanted desperately to make
love to the other.
On this fourth night of the cruise, after a spectacular day at sea,
Thurston knocked on Madison's cabin door.
Madison found the courage to open the door. There he stood; he was
strong and more handsome than Richard. All kinds of thoughts were going
through Madison's mind. He was just coming out of a divorce. What if he
was only looking for a one-night stand or a 16-night affair? She could
tell by the gift of wine he brought that it was now or never.
Moving very slowly through each stage that would lead them to intimacy,
they both were expressing areas of concern. It was clear that neither
wanted to be hurt again, yet neither wanted to postpone the lovemaking.
Wine led to slow dancing; slow dancing led to hugs and strong kisses.
Strong kisses led to clothes being removed, at which time Thurston
suddenly blurted out, "I am still in love with my ex-wife."
Madison could tell, once he made the statement, that he felt like a
clown, and realized that it came out wrong!
Madison's reply was calm, quick, and confident. "Okay," she replied as
she continued to rub his chest. Her heart had dropped at that moment,
but she was determined not to show it.
It only took a few minutes before Thurston started to feel like he was a
rich woman's boy toy. He pulled away from Madison in an effort to gain
control over the situation.
Madison wondered if she should have shown more concern over Thurston's
sudden admission. She
slipped her dress back over her head and moved back to the mini-bar to
refill Thurston's wine glass.
When Madison gave Thurston the refilled wine glass, their eyes met. Each
saw the pain and disappointment in the other's eyes. Thurston smiled as
he put the wine glass down on the nightstand and pulled Madison close to
his body.
After talking until late in the night, the couple finally fell asleep.
It was about 5:30 AM on the high seas .................
when Madison woke up. She remembered the pain she had felt months ago
when Richard had passed away. She never wanted to feel that pain again.
As the sun started to come up, she decided to tell Thurston the truth
about her marriage. She didn’t want to lose Thurston, but she didn’t
want to ever feel that kind of guilt again. She got up, rinsed her mouth
out, brushed her hair, powdered her face, and went back to bed.
Thurston reached for her, and she responded.
After lovemaking, Madison softly said, “I have something I must tell
you.” Thurston lay back, looked at her coldly, and said, “I’m
listening.”
Madison didn’t know where to begin. She knew she had to tell the truth
if the relationship was to last. She explained how she had encouraged,
and sometimes set her husband up, to have affairs with young women. She
told him that she referred to these women as "flower girls." She
explained how, after weeks of Richard dating the young women, she would
play with his emotions by making passionate love to him, after having
ignored him for three or four months. She went on to explain the
pleasure and how intense it was.
Once Madison stopped talking, Thurston was silent for a long moment.
There was still a lot that Madison hadn't told Thurston.
She had been a cold woman even before she married Richard. She learned
from her grandmother that it was her job to please her husband, and she
damn well better learn how to act out a great sex scene. The thought of
not getting a husband was one of Madison’s greatest concerns. She needed
a husband and she was willing to do whatever was necessary to get one.
After Richard and Madison married, she could not keep up the sex act.
The marriage began to fall apart, and Richard started to see other
women. It was during his extramarital affairs that she had decided,
women who slept with her husband deserved whatever happened to them.
Madison realized that she was not sexually capable of taking care of
Richard’s needs, but she didn’t want anyone else to have him. He was
'her' husband.
Richard had, eventually, come to the realization that it was the
destruction of his relationships which made his sex with Madison
exciting. Even after he totally understood Madison's game, he had
continued to play right into Madison’s hands. He knew she wouldn't make
love to him unless she was destroying a relationship between him and
another woman.
But with Pam, it had been different.
As Madison had feared, her husband was in love with Pam. Richard had met
her when he was speaking at a legal conference for educators.
Richard did everything in his power to protect Pam from Madison's
emotional games. He had not succeeded.
It was a Sunday afternoon. He came home early, believing that Madison
would not know he had been with Pam. He had kept the previous mistress
hanging on in an effort to confuse Madison.
When Richard walked in the door that early evening, he realized that he
was in for a night of being handled, both sexually and mentally. Madison
had on a pink sheer, see-through lingerie set. Her hair was down and her
make-up was perfect.
Madison had been his wife for 19 years, and he still experienced
excitement when he saw her in one of her new lingerie sets. Her thighs
and buttocks had remained firm throughout the years. Even after their
first and only child was stillborn, Madison’s body remained intact, and
that was more than he could say for her mental state.
Richard went upstairs, slipped off his shoes, and took a shower. All he
could think about was Pam; he tried to force his mind back on Madison.
The shower was supposed to prepare him for an evening with his wife.
Instead it made him uneasy and a little frightened.
Richard slipped on the silk Chinese robe Madison had gotten him for
Christmas. He started downstairs, when he remembered that he wanted to
take a sexual enhancement drug to help with his sexual performance
because he had no intensions of giving in to Madison emotionally. He
took the prescribed amount, and before putting the lid back on the
bottle, he decided to take one more pill.
Later, during the foreplay, Richard found himself becoming submissive
once again. Afterwards, he knew that he had betrayed the only true love
of his life.
Madison went upstairs to bed.
Richard told her he would be up later, but he never climbed the stairs
again. He had felt the chest pains while making love, and he had felt
the forced pleasure.
Madison had mentally and emotionally played with every emotion that he
had, and when she had weakened his resistance, she demanded that he make
passionate love to her.
Richard felt alone, cold, and frightened as Madison had climbed the
stairs. The pain in his chest got worse as he tried to reach for the
phone to dial 911. A different kind of sleep had come, and the pain
stopped.
All
of this went through Madison's mind, in silence, as she waited for
Thurston to respond.
While holding her hand, Thurston leaned toward Madison, looked deep into
her eyes, and said, “Well, you won’t have to worry about setting me up;
I will find my own "flower girls.” He then kissed her long and
passionately.
It was during the kiss that Madison realized what had just happened. Her
heart dropped into her stomach. She was caught in the same old game,
with a new face.
Thurston had divorced his ex-wife for similar activities. He had
realized during those long moments that just because he had removed
himself from a problem didn't mean that the problem was resolved. He had
attracted the same situation that had crippled his previous marriage. He
wanted to run, but his legs wouldn't move.
His disbelief in what he heard Madison say crippled him. How could he
run so far and not get away?
While Thurston was in the restroom, Madison, for the first time in her
life, began to pray. She didn’t know how, or to whom, or why; she just
started praying. The prayers brought tears, and the tears brought
relief.
She felt a deep, deep pain in her chest area. The pain was inside. It
hurt, and she felt like she would fall over onto the floor if it didn't
stop soon.
She cried softly, folding her arms over her chest as if to cover it from
the emotional pain that had shot through her entire being. She then knew
how Richard felt. She held her head down and said, “If there is a God,
please help me. Please stop this pain.”
By the time Thurston came out of the bathroom, her face was a mess. He
could tell that she had been crying and decided against giving her a
speech about needing some time to think.
Madison knew her life would not be easy, but she felt much better about
herself and her life. She had wanted to be honest with Thurston, and was
relieved that he stuck with her the entire cruise.